Metal Gear Revamped
by MysticGear
Summary: Metal Gear Solid 2: The Sons of Liberty with a humorous twist.


Metal Gear Revamped: A New Gear Legal crap: I don't own Metal Gear or any of the characters. If you didn't know that I have a bridge on some beach front property I'd like to sell you.  
  
Emma jumped when she heard a splashing sound from the entrance from the locker room. Count Dracula or whatever his name was probably coming to kill her now that she was useless to them. "Oh no, he's coming.maybe if I hide he'll think I've escaped." Emma thought to herself. She went back to her hiding place in the locker closes to the back wall then closed the door behind herself. She huddled herself to side of the locker that was away from the door then held her breath.  
  
Outside Raiden submerged through the only entrance to the room. He stopped a to catch his breath near the NODE, a computer with the soliton radar map upgrade, he places his palm on the screen and is electrocuted during the quick but jarring downloading process. "Good thing it's not a Macintosh." He said to himself before checking his map again. He could see the dot that represented him on the screen and also he could see the lines that represented the walls that were around him. "Good it's updated properly." He said taking a look around with his SOCOM pistol ready in case there were any surprises waiting for him except Emma. He turned the corner to find seven lockers, all closed, before him. "Hmm, I think this is a simple case of process of elimination." Raiden said as he walks towards the locker the left. He opened it quickly to surprise any attack that might be waiting for him but the was nothing but some SOCOM bullets waiting for him. "Okay, ammo's good but where's the girl?" He thought to himself, as he picked up the bullets and stored them away.  
  
He tried another locker and found a ration waiting for him. "Not bad but I wonder if I'll find an Uzi hidden in one of these lockers? He thought to himself. Two of the doors were locked and that made him want to break them down all the more but decided against it. Emma couldn't lock her self inside the locker so she could be in there. As he was opening the fifth door on the back wall, it occurred to him that they may have tied her up and locked her in one of the locked lockers. "I hope she's okay." He thought to himself. "Because if she's not okay, we're all screwed." Suddenly, there came a small gasp from inside the locker he was inspecting. It was Emma.  
  
Raiden jumped back in shock. He had found her sooner than he had expected. Raiden gave her the once over, cerulean eyes, auburn hair with sticks in it (he guessed it was the style where she came from) pink and black shirt with spandex black shorts, red slip on sneakers created a kind of contrast that completed the look. It was kind of cute in a schoolgirl kind of way. Emma also gawked as well. Raiden was like no other she had ever seen before. His glossy platinum hair looked like fine silk, his eyes were sapphire and his body was done justice by the form fitting sneaking suit he was wearing, although she thought it made him look like he worked with at Sea World. Yes, his beauty took her but she also knew that beauty could be deadly. Where are you taking me? She exclaimed at him. "Out of here! Come on!" Jack said holding out his hand to the frightened Emma.  
  
Emma wanted to believe him and take his hand but her instinct told her that this was to good to be true. I don't know where the disk is! Leave me alone! She said bordering hysteria. Jack waved his hands defensively, "Wait a minute calm down. I'm not one of the bad guys." Emma relaxed a little bit, all of the terrorists had Russian accents, and the guy in front of her had none. "Okay, if you're not one of them then what are you doing here? She asked hoping to catch him off guard. I came to rescue you and stop metal gear. Really? Yeah, well honestly, I didn't know you were here until just recently. Your brother told me you were here somewhere. "My brother?" she replied in shock. "My brother would never come to help me! He's a selfish jerk and a deserter!" He deserted his dad and me when we needed him the most! "When was that?" Raiden could not stifle his curiosity even though their time to save the world was short. "When we were drowning in the pool." What you mean he just sat there and did nothing? Raiden stared at her in shock, Otacon sounded like a nice guy over the codec. "Well he wasn't out there, he was in his room, which was facing the pool. Doing what? I don't even want to think about it. "Good point." Is that why you're hell bent on revenge? Well maybe. Emma just thought how stupid her reason sounded to an outsider. "Did it ever occur to you he might have not heard you because he was sleeping or had headphones on? Raiden hoped that maybe reason would work because having knock her out and carry her to the GW computer did not seem like a fun option. Emma looked at her shoes in an effort to avoid Raiden's gaze. "No, not really." Then can't you at least give him the benefit of a doubt? I mean, maybe he was in trouble and had to leave. No, he was mad at me because I broke something of his. What did you break? It was his Veritech. What? Raiden said in surprise. It's a space ship from this anime series that.ahh! Emma backed into the locker and began to have a panic attack. What? What's wrong. Raiden said trying to calm her down. Emma merely pointed behind Raiden. Raiden turned around and dropped his socom in surprise. "Oh shit!" Standing in front of the computer where the doorway was Vamp of Dead Cell, soaking wet carrying what Raiden and Emma recognized as a cerated blade.  
  
"Please do not mind me, I'm merely drying off. What do you want with her? She's installed your stupid program. You might as well let her go. I'm afraid I can't do that, she's seen too much and is a threat to our plan. So, you never intended to free the hostages? Emma asked from behind Raiden's back. (He had stepped in front of her to shield her from Vamp.) Not really but one of them will have had a unique opportunity. Vamp said never wavering his psychotic eyes from Emma's terrified eyes. What might that be? Jack decided it was best to keep asking questions because he had stopped approaching them to answer their questions. "A chance to join the Patriots." Vamp said while thumbing his dagger to check its sharpness. He didn't even try to hide his cruel smirk or his even crueler intentions. "Really? Who is it? Emma added. She had apparently guessed Raiden's stalling strategy. She just hoped that it worked and she hoped that he had back up more effective than Seal team 10. Vamp chuckled. He was merely humoring them to extend the look of terror on both their faces. "I can't tell you, not yet anyway." Vamp drew the knife and leveled it at Raiden's neck level. "Now, are there anymore questions you'd like to ask before I slit your throats and drink blood? Emma and Raiden look at each other and shallow hard. Can you think of anything to ask? Not at the moment? That's okay, I'm just killing time until lunch anyway. I tell you what, how about we play a game? Emma and Raiden glower at him. I take that as a yes. Okay, tell me how much were you paying attention to the story and dialogue? The what? Emma squealed. The plot, my little siren. The game goes as follows: we ask each other questions and the other side answers about stuff we've observed so far. If you get answer wrong then take a step forward. And what if you get one wrong? If that happens you get to take a step towards the exit. Once you get to the top of the stairs you both have two minute to get as far as you can. Vamp gave another smirk. " Ready?" "No!" Raiden and Emma simultaneously. Now tell me what is your objective, now that the President has met with an unfortunate end? "Stop the Arsenal Gear." Raiden said assuredly. Correct. Vamp said clapping likely. "Your turn." He said. Raiden thought as hard as he could given the circumstances but could produce no questions. Vamp, who was sharpening his knife, merely glanced at his watch. "Twenty seconds until you forfeit", he checks the blade with his thumb, "your lives." "What did you do with bomberman?" Raiden said finally. "He's fish food." Vamp said with a wicked smile across his face. "Ask a stupid question." Raiden said. Vamp put his knife away and leaned against the wall with his arms folded casually. "How many marines were killed by Fortune. "Six?" Vamp let out a dark sinister chuckle. To both Raiden and Emma's dismay he took a step forward. Remember? Those were navy seals. Raiden smacked his head and growled. He was no good at pop quizzes. No good at all and judge by the distance between them Raiden guessed that he and Emma had about two turns left and it was game over. "If the game is to hard for you, maybe you should give up." "Never!" Raiden growled back. Will that be your final answer? Vamp said. He was clearly enjoying himself. "Okay, she may play as well. After all if you can't save her then maybe she can save herself." "Then it's my turn. "Okay are the rumors I heard true, are you gay?" Emma said. "No, I'm bisexual." Vamp said still leaning on the wall. I thought the military policy was "don't ask, don't tell." "Isn't it hard to keep your sexual preference secret when you're nailing the Marine commander?" Raiden said. Trust me there are just as many gays in the marines as there are in the navy if not more, they just have the advantage of not having to were the white and blue pajamas. Bell bottoms would make anyone look gay. Emma looks at Raiden. "He's got a point."  
  
Meanwhile in the control room. Solidus enters with Fortune in tow. "Has the intruder taken the bait?" he asked. "Yes just as I predicted." Ocelot said. "I told you Vamp could handle anything." Fortune said ignoring the depraved old man. He looks at the screen. "What the hell is he doing?" I've got just twelve hours to rewrite American history and change the course of the free world and he's playing twenty questions with the Mystery Inc. gang? He takes a closer look at Raiden's face. Hmm, I think I've seen him before.somewhere. Where? Fortune said moderately interested. Don't know. He said as though he was in a serious thought. Why can't I remember? Solidus thought to himself. Well, never mind we have work to do. Ocelot, activate Metal Gear Arsenal. Yes, sir. Ocelot imputed the code in the computer then pushed a few buttons. Clearance codes incorrect. Please reenter level keycard and reenter the code. What? Ocelot what are you doing? Fortune yelled at Ocelot. "Inputting the codes improperly causes the computer to lockdown! Now we need to reinstall the entrance code." Then install the codes! But we need the President's vital signs and he's dead now! Fortune reminded Solidus. "Well they're not so vital anymore." remarked Ocelot. Stop joking around you moron. We need that girl again. Solidus said turning to Fortune. She reached into the pouch that was strapped to her thigh and pulled out a cell phone.  
  
Meanwhile. "Well, it was definitely fun toying with you two but now my break is over so it's time to end this game." Vamp said taking two knives from his side sheaths. Emma could do nothing but tremble uncontrollably and Raiden could do nothing but back Emma and himself against the wall. Suddenly, a strange but very familiar melody played throughout the air. It's the Scooby Doo Where Are You? theme. Vamp stopped his advancing to answer it. Uh huh, uh huh, What? He hands the phone to Emma. Emma takes the phone and answers into it. Hello? She answers meekly. Are you the programmer of GW? The computer whiz? Yes? I'm she. It was Dead Cell member Fortune, the mocha skin woman armed with a rail gun that was the same size of her body and a personal grudge twice as long, one the phone. Good. Boss? She said handing the phone to someone else. Yes. This is Solidus the leader of the terrorist attack on Big Shell. "Yes." Emma said not sure what to say but thankful for the interruption. "Yes, well.I trust you're still high dry." Emma looked down at her feet, her sneakers were getting wet when she looked over at the stairwell she saw water descending down it turning it into a cascade. Ahh, we're sinking! Emma shouted. Solidus decided it was time to skip the pleasantries and small talk and get straight to business. It just as well though, he was never any good at them anyway, even when he was the President. Right, getting to the point Ocelot installed the wrong password and now the computer wants us to install the President's data all over again. Isn't he dead? Emma asked. Yeah, that's the problem. We have to do something or the program will go to def-con four. Can you do something? He asked much more earnestly that he originally wanted. Not from here I can't. Emma said looking at the water rising at her ankles. Oh and by the way is Margalo still there? She heard a cough behind her. Vamp was tapping his finger on his wrist watch to remind her of the time, apparently he was getting impatient either that or he was worried about his remaining minutes. "I need to talk to her." Emma said ignoring him. You can do that when you get here, put Vamp back on. She handed the phone back to Vamp. Vamp, we need that girl here so that she can.and his phone batteries gave out. Vamp shook the phone and tried to turn it back on to no avail. "The battery died." He said putting his phone in his pocket. Oh well, looks like you lucked out little mermaid my boss want you alive. He turns around to see Emma and Raiden climbing through the cascade flowing through the steps. Vamp took his knife from his side sheathes and groaned. This day was just getting longer and longer.  
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my first story. Please read and review the story to let me know what you think! And don't worry more chapters will follow. 


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